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Saturday, 20 August 2016

Conversational/First Listen Review: Frank Ocean - Blonde (2016)



Josh: oh shit, this is happening
Judd: wait for me, let's listen together
Josh: okay. I NEED SUPPLIES
Judd: omg me too... just preparing a beverage and possibly a sarnie. now is the time for the toilet break
Josh: YEAH
Judd: I'm ready.
Josh: Truly?
Judd: you tell me when to countdown. unless you're preparing a full dinner or something. which is totally understandable
Josh: I cut up an apple and got some peanut butter crackers
Judd: ahhh perfect
Josh: okay
Judd: phew
Josh: count
Judd: right. 3, 2, 1 - - -

Nikes starts.

Josh: here goes; what we waited two years for... or something
Judd: so would this be around the 8th or 9th time you've listened to this song today
Josh: yeah
Judd: nice
Josh: except this is different cuz it doesn't have the deeper voice
Judd: oh yeah... "I got twooooo versions"
Josh: right. ouch, that out of key
Judd: bit more straightforward without the deep voice
Josh: I think I like the deep voice version more; I like what it added. I don't like this one as much
Judd: no, me neither.

Ivy starts.

Judd: this sounds like country next to Nikes
Josh: apparently Kendrick is on here
Judd: oooooh

Pink + White starts.

Josh: I'm sort of bummed the rest isn't as experimental as the first song
Judd: yeah :/
Josh: this isn't a bad song, though
Judd: I like what's going on here. I guess that's Beyonce

Be Yourself starts.

Josh: i guess that was his mom telling him not to be a weedhead
Judd: aye

Solo starts.

Judd: he does have a lovely voice
Josh: it's not blowing me away so far
Judd: nah, me neither. still a good chunk of album left, it's still got time to drop a train on Coloring Book

Skyline To starts.

Josh: Kendrick was supposed to have been on that last one
Judd: seriously

Self Control and Good Guy start and end, then we're onto Nights.

Josh: there's some nice harmonies here and there, like towards the end of "Skyline To"
Judd: yeah, and that last one especially
Josh: this album sounds like shit, though - tons of clipping and stuff. this is sorta weird. a lot of this seems really similar
Judd: it's all kinda low-key, but not really ballads
Josh: it's one song after another of Frank singing pretty consistently; the features are buried
Judd: yep. I think so far my favourite moment has just been the first five seconds... "niKEEEEEEEE". ooh, I didn't realise this was the same track
Josh: they all sound like demos. how did this take 4 years
Judd: it's probably crappy to say, but damn I wish I could hear the influences more
Josh: what were the influences? I couldn't find that part
Judd: "Influencers" - Prince, Kanye West, Pharrell Williams, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, The Beatles, The Beach Boys

Solo starts.

Josh: ooh, there's Andre 3000
Judd: ooh yes
Josh: he might be my favorite moment of Channel Orange
Judd: ah, he's great on it. man, I want to listen to Super Rich Kids or something.

Pretty Sweet starts.

Judd: whoa what the fuck... cripes, alright then. I wonder what Beach Boys and Beatles he was listening to? you can hardly hear any of those people in this. it does seem to get weirder as it goes along, but it's all a bit dreary

A few tracks down the line to White Ferrari.

Josh: this one is supposed to be good.... twiddles thumbs. that's a reference to the Beatles, "spending each day of the year"
Judd: ooh, good choice of song there, if I may be so snobbish
Josh: how is this the song that's supposed to be so good
Judd: yes, this sounds like every other song. gawd.
Josh: apparently the popup shop version of the album was different
Judd: ah
Josh: what the fuck, why did you just have a cool beat like that and just put it in the background for 5 seconds
Judd: ikrrrrrr, that made me think the tables were about to be TURNED

Seigfried starts.

Judd: but here's this now
Josh: so, maybe the album is better... if you got it... from the store
Judd: perhaps - maybe this is punishment
Josh: maybe
Judd: maybe the popup version actually has Kendrick. I wouldn't be surprised if he deliberately sabotaged this, tbh. that seems almost exactly like something he'd pull
Josh: I'M SO BORED
Judd: grunt. I didn't go into this thinking Nikes would be the most fun thing on here. this one's a little nicer to listen to than usual even though it's murky as balls
Josh: is this a joke. are you hearing this
Judd: what happened to the high frequencies... if you played this on speakers they'd blow. josh this can't be the album. that's my deduction

Godspeed begins.

Josh: the pop up one has to be better, right
Judd: surely... surely.

Futura Free starts.

Judd: was it last August (albeit earlier in the month) where a consensus was agreed between the two of us along the lines of "FUCK YOU FRANK"? poetically, we may be coming close to reaching a similar consensus almost exactly a year later
Josh: sigh. oh, there's, like, a beat this time

(dead air)

Judd: oh, I SEE
Josh: really, you're doing this again, Frank? all right, we'll wait

'Hidden' track starts.

Judd: I quite like that little track he's using for all the spoken word stuff

Hidden track continues.

Judd: make it stop

Hidden track continues.

Judd: frank
Josh: what the fuck, there's one Apple Music version and then there's three different versions that come with the magazines
Judd: he's a step ahead of Kanye. I bet he really has made this the crappiest version on purpose. what could be worse than this ffs
Josh: it's just painful static
Judd: man, I thought this would be some kinda Pyramids-style closer
Josh: "On my version of Nikes, its a rap verse in Japanese by someone I dont know. Its also completely different than track in the music video". no, this can't seriously be happening
Judd: it's over. well, I have no words
Josh: HOW CAN IT POSSIBLY SUCK
Judd: you wouldn't believe how good Channel Orange sounds right about now
Josh: Oh, I'm listening to "Pink Matter"
Judd: lovely stuff
Josh: I'm listening to "Forrest Gump," and I slightly feel like shedding a tear
Judd: I'm on Pilot Jones and it's depressing me that it could actually come from the new one
Josh: where's the "Bad Religion," Frank? what happened to that? NO. IT'S JUST... SO SUBSTANDARD. IT'S LIKE A COLLECTION OF DEMOS THAT DIDN'T MAKE THE ALBUM

Oh well.

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